A mortician (1)was working late one night.(2) He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated(3) and made a startling(4) discovery(5)
Schwartz had the largest private part (6) he had ever seen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.It must be saved ( 7)for posterity..'
So, he removed (8) it, stuffed (9) it into his briefcase, and took it home.
'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife,opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed,
'Schwartz is dead!’
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(1)mortician ( mort do chữ mortuary:nhà xác )+ ician
( như trong physician, technician..)
(2) working late one night: một tối làm việc tới khuya
(3)about to be cremated: sắp sửa đươc đưa vào lò thiêu hay đưa đi hoả táng to stuff : push tightly into nhồi chặt /nhét đầy
(4)To startle: cause to move suddenly (làm giật mình) for fear (vì sợ :kinh hãi) or for surprise ( ngạc nhiên : kinh ngac)
(5) discovery : khám phá .phát hiện impressive : gây ấn tượng mạnh
(6) Private part : của quí /dương vật (7) save : để dành save for posterity :để lại cho hậu thế/đời sau (8) To remove :take away cất đi/đưa đi chỗ khác/ dọn dẹp đây xẻo đi (9)to stuff : push tightly into : nhồi chặt /nhét đầy vào (cái cặp xách tay.)
******
GUN AND POTATO
An aging man lived alone in Ireland.His only son was in prison,and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up(1) is potato garden.
The old man wrote
to his son about it,and received the reply,
“For Da,for heavens sake ,man,don’t dig up the garden! Don’t you remember ,that’s where I buried the guns!”
At precisely 5 a.m. the following morning, a dozen
British soldiers showed up (1) and dug up (2)
the entire garden, but found nay (3) a gun.
Confused,the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son’s reply was.”Da, just plant your potatoes.”
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a spade : cái xẻng to spade up : xới tung
show up : xuất hiên
dig up : đào xới tung
nay : không - found nay a gun : chẳng thấy một cái súng nào cả
