TIẾNG ANH QUA CHUYỆN CƯỜI

1) The Portrait

A clever elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted, so she told the artist, “ Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, an emerald bracelet with a gold Rolex.”

 

“But you’re not wearing any of those things!”the artist pointed out.
“ I know ,”she daid. “It’s in case I die before my husband.If he remarries right away, I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

Slow reading
Normal reading

portrait	por-trait	/ˈpɔː(r)trɪt/
emerald	em-er-ald	/ˈem(ə)rəld/
bracelet	brace-let	/ˈbreɪslət/
jewel	jew-el	/ˈdʒuːəl/
jewelry	jew-el-ry	/ˈdʒuːəlri/

2) Fair Enough

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. 
St Peter started to escort him inside,when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of  mistake.
“ I’m much too young to die ! I’m only 35 !”
St Peter agreed that 35 did seem a bit young to be entering The Pearly Gates, and agreed to check on his case. When St Peter returned, he told the attorney, “ I’m afraid that the mistake must be yours, my son.We verify your age on the basis of the number of hours you’ve billed to your clients, and you’re at least 108.” 

Slow reading      
Normal reading 

attorney

at-tor-ney

/əˈtɜː(r)ni/