1) Polish Divorce
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was not perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him to arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
-Have you any grounds?
-Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
-No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
-It made of concrete.
-What are your relations like?
-All my relations still in Poland .
-Is there any infidelityin your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? )
No, I always up before her.
-Is your wife a nagger?
-No, she white.
-Why do you want this divorce?
-She going to kill me.
-What makes you think that?
-I got proof.
-What kind of proof ?
-She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and puts on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it says:
Polish Remover !
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2) Holding a Grudge
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will :
“ To m y loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough time as well as good , I leave her the house and $2 million.”The lawyer continued,“To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yatch,the business and $1 million.”
The lawyer concluded, “And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will –well you’re wrong. Hi Dan !”
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